The David Xperience



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I'm a hugger.
Children trust me.
Every time I hear about a woman's breast reduction, a piece of me dies.
I was the last kid in my grade to find out Santa isn't real. I'm still heartbroken.
I can dance.


email me at thedavidxperience@gmail.com
Facebook TDX
Sat Dec 5
Denise and I grabbing coffee this morning.  Ya know, the usual. -The David Xperience

Denise and I grabbing coffee this morning.  Ya know, the usual.

-The David Xperience

Fri Dec 4
Hey, Molly, do you use spellcheck on the closing docs?  Just sayin’…

Hey, Molly, do you use spellcheck on the closing docs?  Just sayin’…

“ When a man can fart in the presence of his woman, he’s officially a boyfriend. When a woman farts in the presence of her man, she’s married…with a fat rock on her finger and an air tight pre-nup. TDX
WOW! I always wanted to date a woman whose picture makes me blush even when I’m looking at it alone. Okay, so what’s next on the ‘to do’ list?  Awwww… -TDX

WOW!

I always wanted to date a woman whose picture makes me blush even when I’m looking at it alone.

Okay, so what’s next on the ‘to do’ list?  Awwww…

-TDX

Thu Dec 3
Senator Savino speaks on Marriage Equality

Marriage

Wed Dec 2
“ People who sign their emails with their first name only and then paste their full email signature containing their full name, title, phone, fax, mobile, address, and company URL should be required to chop off a thumb. It’s that stupid. The David Xperience
Miley Cyrus Okay, fine.  I’m gonna let you in on a deep secret, something I’ve spent much time on recently.  I have come to grips with my shame.  Okay, ready? I’m a huge fan of Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA.  There, I said it.  Ahhh…I feel better now. “And the Britney song is oooonnnn / And the Britney song is oooonnn…” -The David Xperience

Miley Cyrus

Okay, fine.  I’m gonna let you in on a deep secret, something I’ve spent much time on recently.  I have come to grips with my shame.  Okay, ready?

I’m a huge fan of Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA.  There, I said it.  Ahhh…I feel better now.

“And the Britney song is oooonnnn / And the Britney song is oooonnn…”

-The David Xperience

"He was smart. Not smart like, let's get married and have children, but smart like, he might cut off his fucking ear and mail it to me."

kaylaisms:

On discussing another “winner” I dated.

Tue Dec 1
“ If I could get back all the money I spent on bottle service during my rebellious 20s, I’d buy Morocco. Like, the whole thing. The David Xperience
Natatlie Portman So, Natalie is like, “C’mon, just let me see it, TDX!” And I’m like, “Okay, fine.  I’ll show you mine, but you have to keep a straight face.” (she nods - ‘yes’) “I’m serious, Nat.  Don’t unbuckle your seatbelt and attack it.  I’m seeing someone and you have to sit there and hold back your ear-to-ear grin.” …aaaaaaaaand scene. -The David Xperience

Natatlie Portman

So, Natalie is like, “C’mon, just let me see it, TDX!”

And I’m like, “Okay, fine.  I’ll show you mine, but you have to keep a straight face.”

(she nods - ‘yes’)

“I’m serious, Nat.  Don’t unbuckle your seatbelt and attack it.  I’m seeing someone and you have to sit there and hold back your ear-to-ear grin.”

…aaaaaaaaand scene.

-The David Xperience